I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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