? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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