That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Randomize
