Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Come back. Shots need mouths.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
