omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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