1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
