if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
