This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Damn victory sex feels great
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
