i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I just googled if crying burns calories
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
