You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
3pm strippers are depressing
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
