Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
