Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
