would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he told me I talked like a deaf person
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
