My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
