Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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