Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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