I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Randomize
