I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I need to align my fucking chakras
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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