I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
