Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
