If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
