i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
