I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
