How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
