I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
