week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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