I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
