I feel like I'm in dance class right now
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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