i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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