you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
