Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
