Don't make out with my wife yet
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
