Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
