If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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