I wish I could teleport
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
It's just like the Real World with babies
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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