shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
