yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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