A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
