Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Randomize
