he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
