you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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