there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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