i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
