I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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