I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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