I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
