Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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