kristin has been a bad kristin
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
