haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
