i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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