A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
